Friends – What is a “friend?”
Young students have labeled friends with nicknames. Sometimes, kids will be creative, and change names, just for fun – to confuse elders Sometimes, they carelessly call someone “a friend.”
As I have stated before, I am a slow learner.
So, at age 82, I know more about friends and friendships. And, if you are older, or a shy person, get over it! Someone is looking for a friend—like you.
First, many of us –(20012)– who live in the United States — we still have certain family values and cultures, as people from other countries do. That is one reason, why some people, unfortunately, practice discrimination. They really do not know, nor understand persons of other cultures.
Our culture has changed over and over for many years. So, it is understandable, that immigrants discover that our language/ culture is difficult to understand. Some of our words have different sounds and meanings.. Then, there is our slang, dialect, and persons from different States or regions.Migration from one State to another started in the 1800s..
If we travel to other countries, we would be attracted to various cultures. and their values.
I read that President John Adams had gone out of his way, as a child.to treasure some of his schoolmates as “friends” throughout his lifetime. As he grew older, and when a friendship had blossomed – he valued that friendship until his death..
What can we take from President Adams? Focus on family and friends at an early age. But, it is never too late. Some of us parents are terrible TEACHERS. Tell your children something that you want them to do –BUT explain why! (Not always possible.)
If you want him to cut his/her hair, explain why. Let them make some decisions.(at age 11 and/or it will seem like you have a different child in the house). If you want better grades, explain why. One of my children said, “I always remembered that you wanted my hair cut.”
Now, what is a “friend?”
I classify friends, as people who you can count on, if you have “a bump in the road”, accident, sickness and/or death in the family. Those who you will do things for– and you do things for them.. A leach (one who wants to take from you – but never do anything for you, is not a friend.
That “friend” does not just take from you, but will “share.” (Sounds like a marriage and/or love relationship?)
First, you should remember your own culture. Church (or not?), School (or not?) (Family relationships?) –
It is not difficult to understand simple practices. If you hang around with more than one person , an aggressive member of a group encourages others toward bad behavior – sometimes, it may be impossible for you to say No!”
The way to handle this: relish friends who are like you.It is better not to join groups with those who run wild.
You must be your own person, and know who you are. Did you know that many people do not know who they are? (values, behavior, family ties).
Young people are at a disadvantage. But, if you have family, ask their opinions! Trust step parents, if that is possible. Many step parents try to help. Often, young people turn away from step parents, and that is unfortunate, in many cases.
Parents, step parents, grandparents, adopted parents and others SHOULD understand that after age 11 and/or 12, it just may be too late to cement relationships. Those who can accomplish this are miracle workers and should write articles — “how I succeeded ?”
I have written about “Love” before. A person who loves you must be a “friend.” There is a difference between love and sex. Hopefully, Mom, Dad, Sister, Aunt, Uncle — or a “friend” can help you with advice, when you are in love —at an early age. Keep asking yourself, “What do I want out of life?” “Who am I?” Turn to your parents immediately, if possible.
Did you know that American women, in particular, faced prejudices – when in came to education and employment?Women in many foreign countries are not accepted as equals.
Read the history of the civil war and other times in our history. The women were the backbone of the country but got little credit. Oh, yes, in WWar1 and War War II they received recognition.
Did you know – that part of our culture – up to the 1980s — when more women worked outside of the home. men were the leaders in families? No matter how poor a family was, some men did not want wives to work. In the 1920s and 1930s, many men did not allow women to make that decision.
.Read your history. Women were not received well in colleges until late 1890s? It was many years after that –before some colleges accepted women! In the 1950s, one had to be exceptionally smart, motivated and/or wealthy to attend a college.
What happened after WW2?
There were not many in men teachers in Ohio’s public schools, during the 1940s..
I also recall that married women could not teach in schools –and in businesses like Cincinnati Gas and Electric– and other businesses.
Iin 1972 or 1973 – my wife was told that they would not hire her – as a printer – in a unionized newspaper because “she was a woman.”
So, young boys and girls – when you are deciding to drop out of school, understand why parents want you to attend college. Unfortunately, in the 1970s, people wanted schools to teach the value system (truth, honest, morals), etc. But, that did not get very far in politics.
The economy might be bad, but learning should never stop.
Know who you are! You can discover that by talking to yourself (silently) and ask parents, grandparents and relatives questions! If you become involved with someone, it is necessary that two people have an income to start on life’s pathways. Many people are working two and three jobs. Farmers and others work more than three jobs.
Ask your parents and grandparents, how quickly life passes, after high school,and college.Life is sometimes like a Ferris wheel and/or merry-go-round (those things have almost disappeared).
Kinda like many words that we once knew!
Tenn Man
Hello World!
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